Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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