are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
