so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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