She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
