i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
