I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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