I'm going to jail i love you
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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