You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
