I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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