You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Randomize
