there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
