dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
