I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
