also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
