He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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