I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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