Christians are straight up FREAKS
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Randomize
