They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
