We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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