Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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