Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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