She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Girls should come with a carfax report
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize