Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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