I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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