her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.