Texts From Last Night

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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.

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  (317): Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot. http://tfl.nu/s8pf
  Replies (51) Good night (5164) Bad night (897)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore

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  (617): i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore http://tfl.nu/4xlx
  Replies (21) Good night (1463) Bad night (4576)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.

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  (724): I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car. http://tfl.nu/2u4v
  Replies (17) Good night (4630) Bad night (754)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day

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  (502): Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day http://tfl.nu/ab75
  Replies (13) Good night (1068) Bad night (4856)
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.

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  (906): I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap. http://tfl.nu/cxzw
  Replies (5) Good night (1876) Bad night (2801)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.

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  (513): Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon. http://tfl.nu/dsce
  Replies (9) Good night (1162) Bad night (2337)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.

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  (307): i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl. http://tfl.nu/csya
  Replies (15) Good night (3013) Bad night (1011)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.

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  (416): juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning. http://tfl.nu/mbo9
  Replies (12) Good night (1699) Bad night (936)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.

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  (606): This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce. http://tfl.nu/gzhr
  Replies (7) Good night (794) Bad night (2050)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I want to take my head off and cuddle with it

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole

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  (832): I want to take my head off and cuddle with it (832): Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole http://tfl.nu/jldl
  Replies (7) Good night (1169) Bad night (629)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.

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  (516): Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly. http://tfl.nu/i5qz
  Replies (17) Good night (1224) Bad night (532)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids

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  (860): people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids http://tfl.nu/scfe
  Replies (2) Good night (1925) Bad night (399)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.

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  (319): I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks. http://tfl.nu/32c2
  Replies (5) Good night (1057) Bad night (364)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".

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  (+44): No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills". http://tfl.nu/ec0b
  Replies (3) Good night (711) Bad night (418)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.

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  (206): Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix. http://tfl.nu/tj1m
  Replies (2) Good night (391) Bad night (153)

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