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• (773): View more from Illinois

  i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.

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• (210): View more from Texas

  Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.

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• (347): View more from New York

  THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.

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• (352): View more from Florida

  I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"

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• (530): View more from California

  as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me

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• (707): View more from California

  I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO

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