why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
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We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place