we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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