fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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