ADVERTISEMENT

• (847): View more from Illinois

  I'm at derby!

  (847): View more from Illinois

  The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.

  Fav 9 1692 796

  share tweet
  

• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?

  Fav 19 984 1890

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (970): View more from Colorado

  I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...

  Fav 4 3822 2126

  share tweet
  

• (417): View more from Missouri

  I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.

  Fav 16 5277 1374

  share tweet
  
• 

  23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (206): View more from Washington

  when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.

  Fav 9 2063 919

  share tweet
  

• (575): View more from New Mexico

  Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.

  Fav 8 1151 826

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (204): View more from Manitoba

  That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina

  Fav 6 1132 638

  share tweet
  

• (541): View more from Oregon

  I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.

  Fav 1 1031 525

  share tweet
  

• (860): View more from Connecticut

  I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump

  Fav 3 743 951

  share tweet
  
• 

  These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (248): View more from Michigan

  People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.

  Fav 2 521 923

  share tweet
  

• (702): View more from Nevada

  Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Daily.

  Fav 0 799 526

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (716): View more from New York

  Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"

  Fav 0 782 525

  share tweet
  

• (907): View more from Alaska

  Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..

  Fav 0 223 304

  share tweet
  

• (248): View more from Michigan

  I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?

  Fav 0 55 27

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (206): View more from Washington

  Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.

  Fav 0 31 7

  share tweet
  

Randomize