even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat