READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
