I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize