trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
