jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
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