I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
