I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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