We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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