You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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