Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
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