I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
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I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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