three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
