So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
