A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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