If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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