Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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