I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
