I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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