Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
