I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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