we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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