I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
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