I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
