He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
