...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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