he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
They have beer where we have blood.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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