5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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