Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
