I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I intend to get homeless drunk
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
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