I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
