You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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