Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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