8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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