And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
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I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
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Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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