toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
