Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
