I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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